Cover article from Panorama July 2022

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FRUNKenstein
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Cover article from Panorama July 2022

Post by FRUNKenstein » Tue Aug 02, 2022 12:24 pm

I just got the July 2022 issue of Panorama, and the cover story just cracked me up. If you haven't read it, you should:

https://ww2.pca.org/panoreader/jul-2022/

I like Panorama, I really do, but sometimes my eyes hurt from rolling around in my head so much from some of the articles. Inevitably there's a story on somebody going completely overboard in some regard to their car: "Yes, the driver's side sun visor had a small wrinkle in the backside, so I commissioned the nephew of Ferry Porsche to slaughter a goat and skin it so that I could use the exact matching leather" or something to that effect. There was an article last year about a doctor that totaled his now-deceased father's pride and joy Porsche when he was a teenager. So, to atone, he bought a GT3 for himself as an homage to his dad. Oh yeah, doc? How's about maybe you should've bought your dad a Porsche while he was still alive, you know, since you wrecked his and he put you through medical school and all?

But, this month's cover article is somethin' special. First of all, in the table of contents on page 5, it lists the car as a "2002 997 Carrera S", which got my attention as I've never seen a 2002 997 of any type. Second, the car is a nice car, but it's not particularly noteworthy or special - a 2007 997 S with an aerokit. Fine, I'm not a car snob, but we're talking about the cover article here.

Next, the author goes on for 2 paragraphs in Johnny Irish-esque prose about how the San Fran Bay area owner dresses and only frequents the finest French patisserie for his croissants and that he's a venture capitalist and that he could easily be mistaken for a fashion model. Get me a bucket.

Then, the author says the owner had a specific list of requirements for the car he was looking for, starting with that it must be a 997. Wait, this guy's a venture capitalist and his dream Porsche is a freakin' 997?! For real? What, were all of the first-gen Cayennes spoken for?

After listing the "requirements" for this uncompromising venture capitalist's dream car, the owner proceeds to buy a car that has hardly any of the "requirements". From a used car lot. That specializes in monster trucks. In Arizona.

Then, this high-powered San Fran venture capitalist got snookered into buying a 3rd party extended warranty, after paying full listing price for the car. Wow, true "art of the deal" stuff there. But, he got the last laugh by canceling the warranty for a full refund once he used it to drive back home. Stay classy, San Fran.

Up next, he bought a set of used tires and wheels off Rennlist (dammit). Hey, no sense buying new when ya gotta save that venture capital for investments, right? And, in a shocking development fully worthy of the cover of Pano, he had the wheels refinished and had a new shifter installed. And he replaced some suspension bits with other OEM parts. Whew, man, what a captivating ending to a mesmerizing story!

Look, I think the subject owner and car are great, and I'm not knocking either. It's the author and the magazine trying way too hard to make the story grandiose. Seems like a regular guy buying a nice used Porsche and mildly customizing it. Ya can't swing a dead cat at a KCRPCA breakfast without hitting a dozen guys with similar stories. It's great and I'm happy for him getting his dream car - just lay off the pretentiousness, Panorama. The whole thing was very cringey.
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Current:
2002 996TT X50, Guards Red
1987 928S4, Guards Red
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2006 955S, Lapis Blue
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1987 Bertone X1/9, Verde Chiaro
Gone but not forgotten: 1975 914 2.0, Laguna Blue; 1999 996 C4 Aerokit Black; 1990 964 C2 Guards Red; 2006 955S Arctic Silver

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Re: Cover article from Panorama July 2022

Post by gnat » Tue Aug 02, 2022 1:24 pm

FRUNKenstein wrote: Tue Aug 02, 2022 12:24 pm So, to atone, he bought a GT3 for himself as an homage to his dad. Oh yeah, doc? How's about maybe you should've bought your dad a Porsche while he was still alive, you know, since you wrecked his and he put you through medical school and all?
Heh. I remember that article and I had a very similar response.

I don't think I've picked up the wife's Panorama* since that article actually.

* Yes in a few months I will have been qualified to be a PCA member for 10 years, but I'm still just an associate under her membership. :roll:

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Re: Cover article from Panorama July 2022

Post by 32wildbilly » Tue Aug 02, 2022 2:13 pm

FRUNKenstein wrote: Tue Aug 02, 2022 12:24 pm I just got the July 2022 issue of Panorama, and the cover story just cracked me up. If you haven't read it, you should:

https://ww2.pca.org/panoreader/jul-2022/

I like Panorama, I really do, but sometimes my eyes hurt from rolling around in my head so much from some of the articles. Inevitably there's a story on somebody going completely overboard in some regard to their car: "Yes, the driver's side sun visor had a small wrinkle in the backside, so I commissioned the nephew of Ferry Porsche to slaughter a goat and skin it so that I could use the exact matching leather" or something to that effect. There was an article last year about a doctor that totaled his now-deceased father's pride and joy Porsche when he was a teenager. So, to atone, he bought a GT3 for himself as an homage to his dad. Oh yeah, doc? How's about maybe you should've bought your dad a Porsche while he was still alive, you know, since you wrecked his and he put you through medical school and all?

But, this month's cover article is somethin' special. First of all, in the table of contents on page 5, it lists the car as a "2002 997 Carrera S", which got my attention as I've never seen a 2002 997 of any type. Second, the car is a nice car, but it's not particularly noteworthy or special - a 2007 997 S with an aerokit. Fine, I'm not a car snob, but we're talking about the cover article here.

Next, the author goes on for 2 paragraphs in Johnny Irish-esque prose about how the San Fran Bay area owner dresses and only frequents the finest French patisserie for his croissants and that he's a venture capitalist and that he could easily be mistaken for a fashion model. Get me a bucket.

Then, the author says the owner had a specific list of requirements for the car he was looking for, starting with that it must be a 997. Wait, this guy's a venture capitalist and his dream Porsche is a freakin' 997?! For real? What, were all of the first-gen Cayennes spoken for?

After listing the "requirements" for this uncompromising venture capitalist's dream car, the owner proceeds to buy a car that has hardly any of the "requirements". From a used car lot. That specializes in monster trucks. In Arizona.

Then, this high-powered San Fran venture capitalist got snookered into buying a 3rd party extended warranty, after paying full listing price for the car. Wow, true "art of the deal" stuff there. But, he got the last laugh by canceling the warranty for a full refund once he used it to drive back home. Stay classy, San Fran.

Up next, he bought a set of used tires and wheels off Rennlist (dammit). Hey, no sense buying new when ya gotta save that venture capital for investments, right? And, in a shocking development fully worthy of the cover of Pano, he had the wheels refinished and had a new shifter installed. And he replaced some suspension bits with other OEM parts. Whew, man, what a captivating ending to a mesmerizing story!

Look, I think the subject owner and car are great, and I'm not knocking either. It's the author and the magazine trying way too hard to make the story grandiose. Seems like a regular guy buying a nice used Porsche and mildly customizing it. Ya can't swing a dead cat at a KCRPCA breakfast without hitting a dozen guys with similar stories. It's great and I'm happy for him getting his dream car - just lay off the pretentiousness, Panorama. The whole thing was very cringey.
I couldn't agree more with your review. I've noticed that Pano has been trending towards the more "novel" writing style over the last years. In the past it was mostly confined in the letters to the editor with all the pretentious self important language, but there have been recent articles that I had to reread because I didn't believe I read what I read. Some articles lately have really been gag producing because of their fluffing.

I did notice the 2002 997 proof reader miss.
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Re: Cover article from Panorama July 2022

Post by Einsteiger » Fri Aug 05, 2022 7:38 am

"Ya can't swing a dead cat at a KCRPCA breakfast without hitting a dozen guys with similar stories."

The last time I swung a dead cat at the Saturday breakfast gathering, y'all asked me to leave. :|
Kevin
1999 C2 - Vesuvio Gray Metallic
Eastern Kansas

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32wildbilly
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Re: Cover article from Panorama July 2022

Post by 32wildbilly » Fri Aug 05, 2022 8:01 am

Einsteiger wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 7:38 am "Ya can't swing a dead cat at a KCRPCA breakfast without hitting a dozen guys with similar stories."

The last time I swung a dead cat at the Saturday breakfast gathering, y'all asked me to leave. :|
Good job! Sometimes "they" just need to hear the truth.
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FRUNKenstein
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Re: Cover article from Panorama July 2022

Post by FRUNKenstein » Fri Aug 05, 2022 12:57 pm

Einsteiger wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 7:38 am "Ya can't swing a dead cat at a KCRPCA breakfast without hitting a dozen guys with similar stories."

The last time I swung a dead cat at the Saturday breakfast gathering, y'all asked me to leave. :|

This may sting a little, Kev, but we'd have been OK with the dead cat staying.
www.kansascityautomuseum.com
Current:
2002 996TT X50, Guards Red
1987 928S4, Guards Red
1987 951, Guards Red
1973 914 2.0 Bahia Red

2006 955S, Lapis Blue
Other toys:
1988 BMW 325i Cabriolet, Alpin Weiss
1987 Bertone X1/9, Verde Chiaro
Gone but not forgotten: 1975 914 2.0, Laguna Blue; 1999 996 C4 Aerokit Black; 1990 964 C2 Guards Red; 2006 955S Arctic Silver

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Re: Cover article from Panorama July 2022

Post by 32wildbilly » Fri Aug 05, 2022 1:44 pm

FRUNKenstein wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 12:57 pm
Einsteiger wrote: Fri Aug 05, 2022 7:38 am "Ya can't swing a dead cat at a KCRPCA breakfast without hitting a dozen guys with similar stories."

The last time I swung a dead cat at the Saturday breakfast gathering, y'all asked me to leave. :|

This may sting a little, Kev, but we'd have been OK with the dead cat staying.
DAYAM!! Tough crowd in the big city.
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Re: Cover article from Panorama July 2022

Post by Einsteiger » Fri Aug 05, 2022 2:41 pm

Speaking of dead cats, the breakfast sausage at our Saturday morning Porsche breakfast has been tasting a little...off. Come to think of it, I haven't seen any pigeons around there either.
Kevin
1999 C2 - Vesuvio Gray Metallic
Eastern Kansas

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Re: Cover article from Panorama July 2022

Post by 5chn3ll » Tue Aug 16, 2022 8:01 am

On the upside...the dental floss is built into the sausage.

Understeer: You will hit the wall with the front end.
Oversteer: You will hit the wall with the rear end.
Horsepower: How hard you will hit the wall.
Torque: How far you will move the wall.

Gone hunting with Alec Baldwin and Dick Cheney. Back soon.

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Re: Cover article from Panorama July 2022

Post by Cuda911 » Fri Dec 09, 2022 11:44 pm

Excellent review shredding, Frunk! I do that a lot for my work.
Mike

'68 Ford Custom 500; '70 Plymouth Cuda; '71 Ford Econoline; 73 Porsche 914 1.7, '74 Porsche 914 1.8; '74 Suzuki TC185; '86 Suzuki GS450L; '88 Subaru GL104WD Turbo Ltd Edn;; '88 Subaru XT; '91 Lexus ES250; '93 Jeep Wrangler, '99 Porsche Boxster, '03 Turbo VW Beetle; '03 Porsche Boxster; '03 Porsche Carrera C2; '07 Porsche Cayman, '11 BMW 328i, '12 Porsche 991 S, '14 Porsche Cayman, & a mishmash of other vehicles.

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