Hey Johnny, Porsche wants your money!

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gnat
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Hey Johnny, Porsche wants your money!

Post by gnat » Wed Jun 09, 2021 9:21 am

Holy hell!

https://timepiecesconfigurator.porsche- ... nfigurator

Site appears to be really slow for me right now so I'm having trouble seeing how obscene I can run up the price.

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5chn3ll
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Re: Hey Johnny, Porsche wants your money!

Post by 5chn3ll » Wed Jun 09, 2021 9:56 am

If the chronograph works as reliably as that website...it will be correct twice a day.

Understeer: You will hit the wall with the front end.
Oversteer: You will hit the wall with the rear end.
Horsepower: How hard you will hit the wall.
Torque: How far you will move the wall.

Gone hunting with Alec Baldwin and Dick Cheney. Back soon.

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Dr_Strangelove
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Re: Hey Johnny, Porsche wants your money!

Post by Dr_Strangelove » Wed Jun 09, 2021 11:08 am

Client said to web dev - I need a site that makes someone look at their watch.
2003 Carrera: Dark Teal Metallic

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Dr_Strangelove
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Re: Hey Johnny, Porsche wants your money!

Post by Dr_Strangelove » Wed Jun 09, 2021 11:10 am

This experience reminds me of a friend's story about developing a product for a client that was really annoying. He programmed in some extra latency with every use so that every day the site would take longer to work and he made the "working" animation look like it was from Windows 95 because I guess that was funny to him. He said it would take longer and longer every time they used it until the 420th time it would reset so that they wouldn't complain to him. I wonder if Danny has gotten a job with Porsche watches...
2003 Carrera: Dark Teal Metallic

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5chn3ll
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Re: Hey Johnny, Porsche wants your money!

Post by 5chn3ll » Mon Jun 14, 2021 8:03 am

I once installed and ran an Apache port on an old Android phone because...why would you NOT?
I'm pretty sure someone found my phone and is using it to host the watch site.

Understeer: You will hit the wall with the front end.
Oversteer: You will hit the wall with the rear end.
Horsepower: How hard you will hit the wall.
Torque: How far you will move the wall.

Gone hunting with Alec Baldwin and Dick Cheney. Back soon.

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5chn3ll
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Re: Hey Johnny, Porsche wants your money!

Post by 5chn3ll » Mon Jun 14, 2021 8:07 am

When we first started making software here at work, my lead developer thought it would be "funny" to randomly generate an Apple-esque error code for each uncaught exception...which WAS funny until a bug cropped up that caused that dialog to show many, many times for a few unlucky users.

People would call in with endless lists of "error codes" that they'd carefully transcribed...since the error number was different each time, they dutifully wrote down each number.

We had a talk about bogus error dialog design after this.

This was NOT the same product that an Apple Human Interface Design specialist once described as "a user interface abomination," but that was also a red-letter day for me...
Dr_Strangelove (whew!) wrote: Wed Jun 09, 2021 11:10 am This experience reminds me of a friend's story about developing a product for a client that was really annoying. He programmed in some extra latency with every use so that every day the site would take longer to work and he made the "working" animation look like it was from Windows 95 because I guess that was funny to him. He said it would take longer and longer every time they used it until the 420th time it would reset so that they wouldn't complain to him. I wonder if Danny has gotten a job with Porsche watches...

Understeer: You will hit the wall with the front end.
Oversteer: You will hit the wall with the rear end.
Horsepower: How hard you will hit the wall.
Torque: How far you will move the wall.

Gone hunting with Alec Baldwin and Dick Cheney. Back soon.

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gnat
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Re: Hey Johnny, Porsche wants your money!

Post by gnat » Mon Jun 14, 2021 8:55 am

5chn3ll wrote: Mon Jun 14, 2021 8:07 am This was NOT the same product that an Apple Human Interface Design specialist once described as "a user interface abomination," but that was also a red-letter day for me...
As a dumb 20yr old I bought that library worth of books Apple used to produce that covered all their design standards back in the 90s. Reading those books is a big part of why I said "fuck it" to my dream of being a Windows programmer (dumb 20yr old) and moved to back end work where I don't have to remember that Mauve has the most memory and other UI shit like that. In that regard I suppose you could say it was the best $1500 I ever spent...

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5chn3ll
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Re: Hey Johnny, Porsche wants your money!

Post by 5chn3ll » Mon Jun 14, 2021 11:06 am

I won't defend the Apple guy, but the application in question was an early Java desktop app rocking the "Metal" look-and-feel...so...

(not my screenshot - just an example of abominable Swing design...)
Swing-Metal.png
Swing-Metal.png (53.41 KiB) Viewed 1366 times

Understeer: You will hit the wall with the front end.
Oversteer: You will hit the wall with the rear end.
Horsepower: How hard you will hit the wall.
Torque: How far you will move the wall.

Gone hunting with Alec Baldwin and Dick Cheney. Back soon.

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32wildbilly
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Re: Hey Johnny, Porsche wants your money!

Post by 32wildbilly » Mon Jun 14, 2021 11:25 am

Yeah Dammit! Who would do such a thing with a "Swing"?... :roll:
5chn3ll wrote: Mon Jun 14, 2021 11:06 am I won't defend the Apple guy, but the application in question was an early Java desktop app rocking the "Metal" look-and-feel...so...

(not my screenshot - just an example of abominable Swing design...)

Swing-Metal.png
Never gonna make you cry...

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