Cover article from Panorama July 2022
Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 12:24 pm
I just got the July 2022 issue of Panorama, and the cover story just cracked me up. If you haven't read it, you should:
https://ww2.pca.org/panoreader/jul-2022/
I like Panorama, I really do, but sometimes my eyes hurt from rolling around in my head so much from some of the articles. Inevitably there's a story on somebody going completely overboard in some regard to their car: "Yes, the driver's side sun visor had a small wrinkle in the backside, so I commissioned the nephew of Ferry Porsche to slaughter a goat and skin it so that I could use the exact matching leather" or something to that effect. There was an article last year about a doctor that totaled his now-deceased father's pride and joy Porsche when he was a teenager. So, to atone, he bought a GT3 for himself as an homage to his dad. Oh yeah, doc? How's about maybe you should've bought your dad a Porsche while he was still alive, you know, since you wrecked his and he put you through medical school and all?
But, this month's cover article is somethin' special. First of all, in the table of contents on page 5, it lists the car as a "2002 997 Carrera S", which got my attention as I've never seen a 2002 997 of any type. Second, the car is a nice car, but it's not particularly noteworthy or special - a 2007 997 S with an aerokit. Fine, I'm not a car snob, but we're talking about the cover article here.
Next, the author goes on for 2 paragraphs in Johnny Irish-esque prose about how the San Fran Bay area owner dresses and only frequents the finest French patisserie for his croissants and that he's a venture capitalist and that he could easily be mistaken for a fashion model. Get me a bucket.
Then, the author says the owner had a specific list of requirements for the car he was looking for, starting with that it must be a 997. Wait, this guy's a venture capitalist and his dream Porsche is a freakin' 997?! For real? What, were all of the first-gen Cayennes spoken for?
After listing the "requirements" for this uncompromising venture capitalist's dream car, the owner proceeds to buy a car that has hardly any of the "requirements". From a used car lot. That specializes in monster trucks. In Arizona.
Then, this high-powered San Fran venture capitalist got snookered into buying a 3rd party extended warranty, after paying full listing price for the car. Wow, true "art of the deal" stuff there. But, he got the last laugh by canceling the warranty for a full refund once he used it to drive back home. Stay classy, San Fran.
Up next, he bought a set of used tires and wheels off Rennlist (dammit). Hey, no sense buying new when ya gotta save that venture capital for investments, right? And, in a shocking development fully worthy of the cover of Pano, he had the wheels refinished and had a new shifter installed. And he replaced some suspension bits with other OEM parts. Whew, man, what a captivating ending to a mesmerizing story!
Look, I think the subject owner and car are great, and I'm not knocking either. It's the author and the magazine trying way too hard to make the story grandiose. Seems like a regular guy buying a nice used Porsche and mildly customizing it. Ya can't swing a dead cat at a KCRPCA breakfast without hitting a dozen guys with similar stories. It's great and I'm happy for him getting his dream car - just lay off the pretentiousness, Panorama. The whole thing was very cringey.
https://ww2.pca.org/panoreader/jul-2022/
I like Panorama, I really do, but sometimes my eyes hurt from rolling around in my head so much from some of the articles. Inevitably there's a story on somebody going completely overboard in some regard to their car: "Yes, the driver's side sun visor had a small wrinkle in the backside, so I commissioned the nephew of Ferry Porsche to slaughter a goat and skin it so that I could use the exact matching leather" or something to that effect. There was an article last year about a doctor that totaled his now-deceased father's pride and joy Porsche when he was a teenager. So, to atone, he bought a GT3 for himself as an homage to his dad. Oh yeah, doc? How's about maybe you should've bought your dad a Porsche while he was still alive, you know, since you wrecked his and he put you through medical school and all?
But, this month's cover article is somethin' special. First of all, in the table of contents on page 5, it lists the car as a "2002 997 Carrera S", which got my attention as I've never seen a 2002 997 of any type. Second, the car is a nice car, but it's not particularly noteworthy or special - a 2007 997 S with an aerokit. Fine, I'm not a car snob, but we're talking about the cover article here.
Next, the author goes on for 2 paragraphs in Johnny Irish-esque prose about how the San Fran Bay area owner dresses and only frequents the finest French patisserie for his croissants and that he's a venture capitalist and that he could easily be mistaken for a fashion model. Get me a bucket.
Then, the author says the owner had a specific list of requirements for the car he was looking for, starting with that it must be a 997. Wait, this guy's a venture capitalist and his dream Porsche is a freakin' 997?! For real? What, were all of the first-gen Cayennes spoken for?
After listing the "requirements" for this uncompromising venture capitalist's dream car, the owner proceeds to buy a car that has hardly any of the "requirements". From a used car lot. That specializes in monster trucks. In Arizona.
Then, this high-powered San Fran venture capitalist got snookered into buying a 3rd party extended warranty, after paying full listing price for the car. Wow, true "art of the deal" stuff there. But, he got the last laugh by canceling the warranty for a full refund once he used it to drive back home. Stay classy, San Fran.
Up next, he bought a set of used tires and wheels off Rennlist (dammit). Hey, no sense buying new when ya gotta save that venture capital for investments, right? And, in a shocking development fully worthy of the cover of Pano, he had the wheels refinished and had a new shifter installed. And he replaced some suspension bits with other OEM parts. Whew, man, what a captivating ending to a mesmerizing story!
Look, I think the subject owner and car are great, and I'm not knocking either. It's the author and the magazine trying way too hard to make the story grandiose. Seems like a regular guy buying a nice used Porsche and mildly customizing it. Ya can't swing a dead cat at a KCRPCA breakfast without hitting a dozen guys with similar stories. It's great and I'm happy for him getting his dream car - just lay off the pretentiousness, Panorama. The whole thing was very cringey.
