Good Week @ 996Outpost.com

[5chn3ll]

Have I shared the sordid tale of my niece who married a shitbag in Utah last Spring? I don't think so - I think I quit typing every time because it was so disgusting.

[Dr_Strangelove]

Let's go hour-by-hour?

[32wildbilly]

Family drama can be fun. I'll go pop some popcorn.

Let's go hour-by-hour?

[32wildbilly]

Increased speed does not apply if you have a shrub in your front yard or any place on your property.

Elon Musk's SpaceX released a faster version of its Starlink satellite internet service. It comes with a $2,500 kit and costs 5 times the standard service.

[32wildbilly]

How/Why does this crap happen?

Maersk container ship runs aground off German island

[5chn3ll]

My niece moved out to Utah a couple of years ago. I realize I risk sounding like a heartless asshole, but she's not exactly a catch. She's probably 250 pounds overweight, dumb as a stump (i.e. three years of summer school to get out of high school), and not especially enjoyable to be around.

Last Spring, she suddenly announced that she was "engaged" to a guy who is an absolute turd (convictions for domestic violence, bankruptcies for his failed strip-club startup ideas...he's a real gem). Keep in mind...this is a girl who was still grossed out at the idea of kissing a guy a year ago. Despite protestations from the extended family, she maintained that he was a changed man and was her destiny.

About two weeks later, she informed the family (via Facebook) that they were getting married. In three days. It turns out they'd been shacking up (he moved in due to "financial constraints") since shortly after they met. Since her mother (my wife's sister) was coming to town, a courthouse marriage was obviously the best way to make things right.

The courthouse wedding proceeded (it was a cluster).

Shortly thereafter, the new husband convinced her to lease a new Jetta (the Hyundai Tucson she was driving just wasn't good enough for a man of his caliber), which he wrecked within a week. Less than 48 hours later, he wrecked the Jetta on the freeway. Rather than reporting the wreck to their insurer, he hatched a scheme to torch the car and file an insurance claim.

He got caught. More specifically, he was spotted leaving the scene of the crime...and he also managed to light himself on fire during the commission of the crime. He later visited my niece at her place of employment to have her dress his wounds. In the restroom. Next-level classy shit.

"Scnhelly," you might think, "I'm sure she turned him in and walked away from this train wreck." Nope - since he has a felony record and she's a nice Mormon girl, he convinced her to take the blame for the car fire. He helpfully drafted a full confession that she signed (and had notarized) in which she took full responsibility for the fire and the subsequent attempt to defraud the insurer, which is a class 3 felony in Utah. She was later picked up by the Utah 5-0...and stupidly, she repeated the "I did it" story during interrogation. As she was at the police station being questioned, he emptied her savings account to buy lots of cool camping gear and other neat stuff for his newly-pregnant girlfriend.

I have fucked up a lot of things in my life, but...this kid's ability to immolate her future takes the cake. She's working as a medical assistant; even if she pleads to a lesser felony, I can't imagine she'll ever work again in that field. She has the (burninated) VW to pay off, as well as an outstanding title loan on another vehicle she co-signed for. She broke her lease on her first apartment, and then broke her lease on their shared apartment. Her credit is now non-existent.

Lots of things are still in flux - but that's the basic idea. I spent yesterday afternoon watching her second hearing via the Interwebs.



TL;DR: Schnelly's heifer niece marries known shitbag and voluntarily immolates her own life.

[gnat]

to Utah ... for his failed strip-club startup ideas

What kinda stupid do you have to be to think opening a strip club in the driest and "morally upstanding" state in the country?

Is his next idea going to be an anti-gambling establishment on the Strip in Vegas?

[5chn3ll]

He many not have much business acumen, but he's REALLY good at conning stupid girls.

My wife and I grilled him for a bit before the "wedding." He claimed that he was a world-class cook - in his own words, a "fine-star chef."

[32wildbilly]

I did read it all. Someone needs to convince her to come clean with the law about the shitbag. This will not cleanup her financial woes but it might keep her out of the legal problems. I'm assuming she doesn't have a record and I can't believe the police wouldn't believe her when they look at shitbag's record.

Pretty sure Mormons don't support breaking the law...

My niece moved out to Utah a couple of years ago. I realize I risk sounding like a heartless asshole, but she's not exactly a catch. She's probably 250 pounds overweight, dumb as a stump (i.e. three years of summer school to get out of high school), and not especially enjoyable to be around.

Last Spring, she suddenly announced that she was "engaged" to a guy who is an absolute turd (convictions for domestic violence, bankruptcies for his failed strip-club startup ideas...he's a real gem). Keep in mind...this is a girl who was still grossed out at the idea of kissing a guy a year ago. Despite protestations from the extended family, she maintained that he was a changed man and was her destiny.

About two weeks later, she informed the family (via Facebook) that they were getting married. In three days. It turns out they'd been shacking up (he moved in due to "financial constraints") since shortly after they met. Since her mother (my wife's sister) was coming to town, a courthouse marriage was obviously the best way to make things right.

The courthouse wedding proceeded (it was a cluster).

Shortly thereafter, the new husband convinced her to lease a new Jetta (the Hyundai Tucson she was driving just wasn't good enough for a man of his caliber), which he wrecked within a week. Less than 48 hours later, he wrecked the Jetta on the freeway. Rather than reporting the wreck to their insurer, he hatched a scheme to torch the car and file an insurance claim.

He got caught. More specifically, he was spotted leaving the scene of the crime...and he also managed to light himself on fire during the commission of the crime. He later visited my niece at her place of employment to have her dress his wounds. In the restroom. Next-level classy shit.

"Scnhelly," you might think, "I'm sure she turned him in and walked away from this train wreck." Nope - since he has a felony record and she's a nice Mormon girl, he convinced her to take the blame for the car fire. He helpfully drafted a full confession that she signed (and had notarized) in which she took full responsibility for the fire and the subsequent attempt to defraud the insurer, which is a class 3 felony in Utah. She was later picked up by the Utah 5-0...and stupidly, she repeated the "I did it" story during interrogation. As she was at the police station being questioned, he emptied her savings account to buy lots of cool camping gear and other neat stuff for his newly-pregnant girlfriend.

I have fucked up a lot of things in my life, but...this kid's ability to immolate her future takes the cake. She's working as a medical assistant; even if she pleads to a lesser felony, I can't imagine she'll ever work again in that field. She has the (burninated) VW to pay off, as well as an outstanding title loan on another vehicle she co-signed for. She broke her lease on her first apartment, and then broke her lease on their shared apartment. Her credit is now non-existent.

Lots of things are still in flux - but that's the basic idea. I spent yesterday afternoon watching her second hearing via the Interwebs.



TL;DR: Schnelly's heifer niece marries known shitbag and voluntarily immolates her own life.

[5chn3ll]

She's come clean / professed innocence since - but with both a signed confession and a video-taped admission of guilt, she's got a deep hole to dig herself out of.

She also can't keep her story straight - so I'm not 100% convinced she was an entirely innocent victim. She's just stupid enough to believe that burning a Jetta might be the best way to get out of a lease...

The eye-witness saw him getting into the Hyundai - their other vehicle. It makes you wonder how he got there...alone...with two vehicles.